Divorce is the end of a relationship between couples and brings many difficulties. The biggest of these challenges is how to explain it to children. The difficulties children experience during the divorce process can be compounded if the parents do not act correctly. That’s why it’s so important to find the right approach to telling the child about the divorce and how to respond to his or her needs. In this article you will find many tips on how to tell your child about a divorce and how to guide the process.
Here’s the answer to the question of how to explain a divorce to your child…
How to tell a child about divorce
No child will be affected by the decision to divorce as they will not like their parent’s divorce. While there is a better way to say it, there is no way to say it in a way that doesn’t affect the child. Therefore, when explaining your decision to divorce to your child, you should pay attention to the following:
- By assuming that the divorce issue is between them, you should prevent the child from seeking blame on themselves.
- You should try to explain the reason for your divorce without going into details (without blaming each other, without getting into sexual matters).
- You should prepare your child by explaining what will happen next.
- You should tell the child who is staying where and with whom after the divorce and how often they are seen.
- You should let your child ask questions. You should calmly explain the questions in a way that your child can understand, without an atmosphere of discussion.
- The most important thing is that you tell them that you are still his mother and father after the divorce. Even if they live in separate houses, tell them that you will always love and respect them.
Effect of divorce on child
- After a divorce, most children may act angry or ill. Since they are going through a sensitive period, no negative behavior should be applied. On the contrary, it should always be supported.
- When a new life starts, you need to prepare them for some negativity. Since you will not have negative financial or moral power, approach this in a way that your child will understand.
- If the problems between you and your partner continue after the divorce, you should not let your child feel this. It is very important that both parties do not neglect the child.
- After a divorce, you should certainly not insult each other in front of your children.
- You must visit the child regularly. You should certainly not open the door so that your child does not feel abandoned.
- When you meet your child, be sure to spend quality time. For this, do not constantly buy gifts or take them to luxurious places. You have to show that you are happy to be with him, that you love him.
- You should be like a friend to your child. Since the kids will understand right away that you are evil, you may think that meeting you is uncomfortable and causing major psychological problems. For this reason, you must tell him that you are bad, without exceeding the dosage.
- Siblings should not be separated during a divorce. Because in this case, brothers try to support each other.
- You certainly shouldn’t ask your kids to pick sides.
Parents should definitely be careful when approaching their children, as children will be greatly affected by divorce. During this period, children are generally introverted or in a state of constant anger. If your child doesn’t want to go out because of his introversion, you should definitely get help from a specialist.
In angry situations, the child should never be treated with anger. If you act like him or use violence, you can provoke him and make the situation irreversible. In these situations, parents should approach their child calmly and avoid punishment, violence, and anger. On the other hand, when most children cannot get over this separation situation, they start to experience problems such as depression, anxiety disorder, sleep problems, school problems and behavior problems. Support should be obtained from child mental health specialists for this.
Mistakes parents make during a divorce
Parents don’t want to pass their problems on to their children. For this reason, they do not fight with them, they always try to create a happy family image in the eyes of their children. However, this is the most common mistake made by families getting divorced or deciding to divorce. Because children always establish a cause and effect relationship in the face of events. Therefore, when children see that their parents are satisfied with their livelihood and then learn about the decision to divorce, they think that they are the reason for it. If a divorce decision has been made, parents should definitely make their children realize that they don’t get along. It is extremely wrong to have violent fights next to the child to realize it. Therefore, do not create a very happy family image with your child and do not fight violently. Even if your child doesn’t fully understand, he or she will notice that there is a problem between the parents other than himself.
How do I tell my child about the divorce?
Speak directly and openly when telling your child about the divorce. First, use the language your child can understand and explain the topic at an appropriate time and environment.
What might my child’s reaction be?
Children’s reactions to divorce can be different. Some children experience feelings such as sadness, anger, guilt, fear, while others may not be affected by a divorce. Whatever your child’s reaction, acknowledge and support his feelings.
How should I explain the divorce?
When explaining the divorce to your child, explain it briefly and clearly. Speak in a language appropriate to your child’s age and understanding level. You don’t have to tell your child why you got divorced, but you can tell them about the changes.
How often should I talk to my child?
Talk to your child often during the divorce process and listen to her feelings. The frequency of your calls may vary depending on your child’s needs. Let your child feel that you are there when they need you.