Without a doubt, it is every couple’s dream to have a happy home. However, when the marriage phase arrives, couples may be left alone with some negative thoughts. Experts define the feeling that indicates marital responsibility as marital stress, warning couples to be wary of some emerging question marks. Experts emphasize that these question marks are caused by uncertainty rather than stress.
Sense of dependence, cause of miscommunication
Specialist psychologist and relationship therapist Nida Korkmaz, speaking about the feelings of commitment and dependence in relationships, said: “Marital stress is based on the question marks in one’s mind before marriage or because of the events the person has experienced in the past. . Love is always at the forefront in our society. For this reason, individuals develop an addiction to the person they once fell in love with. In the first stage of love, it can be described as devotion. But later on, the element we call devotion makes over time of time place for addiction. Involvement has a comforting and peaceful quality among people. But addiction, on the other hand, causes tension and stress in people. Addiction shows the effect of eliminating the question marks in a person’s mind against his partner. Because individuals are dependent , they constantly postpone the answers to the question marks in their minds. This situation reaches the stage of marriage. In the marriage phase, this situation is very different from when people are dating. Mental and intellectual changes occur gradually in married couples. Along with these intellectual changes, it causes great stress to the person over time by combining with the questions that are not answered in the mind due to addiction. This stress causes serious separation in relationships.” said.
Watch out for these question marks!
Specialized psychologist Korkmaz pointed out that premarital stress consists of the questions that a person has in mind before marriage and the experiences that he has had in his past life. Will he lose interest in me? Will love, respect, compassion and love decrease? Will his support wane?’ These questions cause marital stress. The responsibilities placed on our shoulders with marriage are among the factors that create the fear of marriage. When these question marks are added to this fear, the stress increases exponentially. This time the person said, “Actually, I really want to get married, but I’m very scared.” begins to say. This phrase can also mean to signal separation signals somewhere. Because if the person cannot handle the stress of these questions and cannot get over this situation, then he will get the syndrome. “I call this condition premarital syndrome,” she said.
Families have great responsibilities
Nida Korkmaz underlined that families have a great responsibility to deal with the stress before marriage, saying: “Couples can get stressed and worried about the responsibilities that come with marriage. However, couples to vote They can also get stressed by wondering if they are or not. In this case, it should be the families’ job to calm the couples down. By exemplifying good experiences in their own relationships and their struggles in life, and expressing the positive and beautiful aspects of the couples to the couples, the stress will decrease to a great extent. he said.
Referring to what should be done if the situation cannot be solved in this way, Korkmaz said: “There are different ways to deal with these problems. Personal development books can be read or development programs viewed. But seriously, the healthiest solution to these problems is to get support from a psychologist interested in this field.” said.
Are the people around you guiding you in the right way?
Nida Korkmaz said that environmental factors can also influence the course of the relationship in relationships: “In relationships, third parties can sometimes be very constructive and sometimes very destructive. It is necessary to make this distinction very well and to intervene or not to intervene accordingly. If third parties constantly make negative statements about your relationship and partner, make bad criticisms and make negative claims, you should definitely say ‘stop’ to this. However, if third parties support your relationship, make positive statements about your relationship and partner, and remind you of your love and how you fit together at every opportunity, you can talk to them. used the sentences.