Pay attention to the consequences of the dissolution of marriage for children
If one of the spouses does not behave responsibly towards the child after the divorce, adjustment and behavior problems can be seen in the child. When we look at this carrying process from the child’s world, there is a tendency to see himself responsible for the divorce of his parents in general. There may be a tendency to blame adults for arguing and thinking he is problematic in the following processes, and he may experience problems such as nail biting, bed wetting and being sick often.
During adolescence, the child may run away from home or school, have regular fights with friends, take things that do not belong to him without permission, and experience depression and anxiety. Considering this, the parent’s approach towards the child becomes very important. Parents should not discuss their problems in front of the child in a way that destroys his world. The child feels, sees and hears the problems in the family and may tend to blame themselves, thinking they have a part to play in this bad situation, causing the child to suffer a trauma that can last for years. The prolongation of the conflict between the parents paves the way for the child to become depressed. What you will do as a parent is try not to show it to your child as much as possible regardless of the issues between you.
So how should divorce be explained to a child?
As a parent, it is necessary to explain the divorce process to the child in a clear and understandable way. You must explain in a way that he can understand that there is no separation of mother and father just because you cannot agree, when you leave while sharing the same life, you will always love and support him as a mother and father for the rest of your life. When you talk about this process, it’s helpful to be patient without waiting for him to accept this process like you or other adults. As parents, you should keep your child away from the existence of major issues between you and not burden him with a burden that he cannot bear. It is helpful to talk according to your child’s age, without going into details, making sure you don’t destroy the mother and father figure in his world.
What are the considerations in a divorce?
Divorce is a grueling process, perhaps for one party or for both parties, meaning the destruction of the old family order and the establishment of a new one. This process, which will have a traumatic effect on the child, is a challenging one that parents should pay attention to. During the marriage, the woman or the man has really been victimized and the other party may have been hurt a lot, maybe by himself or maybe by the family. However, the person who is seen as the cause of the victimization that should not be forgotten and should be paid attention to is the mother or father of the child. The injured party may have suffered for years, could not bear it and did not want to share it with those around him and relax.
What are parents’ responsibilities after divorce?
Spouses must ensure that they remain friends no matter what happens between them after the divorce. They have children with whom they have a lifelong bond, and throughout the child’s life there will be ups and downs and various problems may arise. Sometimes they need to help each other find solutions to their children’s problems and develop common decision-making and solution-oriented behaviors. What both parents should remember is that their child’s existence and future is more important than the problem between them. Another thing that should not be forgotten is that your child did not come into this world of his own free will, that the Creator, who wanted you as parents, deemed it worthy and gave it to you.