Pointing out that the fast-paced, fun-oriented life of the communication age increases global stress levels, psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said emotional flexibility methods can be used when dealing with stress. Tarhan said, “Mental flexibility and psychological flexibility are like the continuation of each other. When you have these resiliences, you yawn when there is a crisis, then you are your old self again. The whole trick here is that when someone experiences a crisis, a tension, they can struggle and get right back up. To be happy and healthy in all circumstances, to be able to be in good health, to be like a flower that blooms in all kinds of environments in winter, cold, summer, rain and mud, is psychological resilience. To have this resilience, there must be psychological flexibility.” said.
Claiming that with the increase in stress levels, there are studies all over the world on the need to conduct “Mindfulness” training systematically in schools. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that we must protect our own culture while modernizing. Tarhan gave examples from a study of Japanese and American elementary school children and said, “Let’s take the beautiful side of the west. Let’s take the science and technology, but let the culture be theirs. Children in the same age group who grew up in Japanese and American schools were given difficult math tests, questions they couldn’t make, and they measured how many minutes they would give up. The American boys gave up after the ninth minute on average, but the Japanese boys gave up after the thirteenth minute. So there is 50% more stamina. Because the culture teaches it. In Japan, they don’t upload any information for the first four years. They just learn human values.”
“Everything is broken by finesse, but people are broken by rudeness”
Noting that solid objects appear solid, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said: “People have a property. Everything is broken by grace, but a person is broken by rudeness. What is flexible in man is firm. Do you want to enter the heart of your partner, children, relatives? If you break the door, you can’t get in. The way to enter the heart is to have good relations with people, to build a loving relationship.” he said.
Wishes are enough to destroy sanity
Noting that anyone can be upset when they are unfair, rejected, disappointed and unable to achieve their goal, Prof Dr Nevzat Tarhan said: “It is important to be able to accept what happened. Someone who cannot accept begins to live with ‘if only’. That’s enough to eat people. Enough to destroy a person’s sanity. If a person is angry about something, if there is a solution and the necessary action is taken, then it is not worth worrying. If you don’t have a solution, even if you get upset, it’s not worth worrying about, because the result will not change. When the person learns this, he gains the ability to resist the event he has experienced. This is acceptance as opposed to surrender. One must have faith in something greater than oneself. If you say, “Just believe in yourself,” the person will scatter where they can’t afford to. In such cases, however, believing in something greater than oneself, being part of a greater meaning, believing in a higher power, a higher worth, and having a shelter from it makes the person resilient. It is the most plausible belief that there should be a will that knows everything in the world, controls everything, has absolute will, absolute power, absolute wisdom, absolute knowledge, and absolute power. used the sentences.
“Things need to be looked at separately”
Tarhan points out that no religion has the spiritual support and religious coping method in our geography in the Quran, saying, “If he can accept the event, especially when he can’t afford it, then I must experience it.” It’s accepted. He feels that he is part of a higher meaning. On the other hand, it is important for a person to accept being emotionally resilient. Acceptance is a condition, but not sufficient. One should not live in the past. There is a very nice slogan; ‘Learn from the past, look to the future. But live for today.’ It’s not live in the moment, it’s live in the moment. Each event must be judged in its context. It is necessary to evaluate an event that happened in the past in its context. It is also important to think things separately. Thinking about things without separating them creates a kind of mental confusion. Such people cannot plan or sort. He cannot prioritize the events he experiences. If someone in close relationships cannot make that distinction, he cannot think with what intent he is saying.” he said.
Feelings that can’t go together…
prof. dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that we can only achieve psychological resilience if the measure of values we have is correct and said: “It is necessary to separate the emotional dimension, the thought dimension and the behavioral dimension of an event. Good judgment is essential, especially in close relationships. When dealing with people as enemies, poor judgment takes precedence. In close relationships, a good opinion is the most important, a bad opinion is the exception. Trust is essential, doubt is the exception. These are the values. People with value judgments have better psychological resilience. Therefore, we must set up our own value system correctly. Because a person cannot find the truth if the ruler in his hand is crooked. If the measure of values we have is correct, we can achieve psychological resilience. In that value system there are 24 basic human values such as keeping your word and not lying. Happiness and passion don’t mix. Jealousy and peace cannot coexist. A sense of arrogance and a sense of self-confidence don’t mix. If you have these values, if you want to be happy and peaceful and feel safe, then you will stay away from greed, jealousy and arrogance. You develop behavior in accordance with these values. For example, if there is laziness or pessimism, you do not expect success. Success is not possible for someone with this mindset. Likewise, we need to develop a mental strategy to say who, what happened, where, in what context, how it happened, and to act in accordance with a kind of psychological flexibility.”