Report card warning to families: Punishment harms family relationships
As at the end of each semester, the students received their report this semester. While some were excited on the day of the report, others were surrounded by fear. Before you get the report, “I wonder if my mom or dad will be very angry with me?” That statements such as ‘what are they going to say to me now’ reverberate in the students’ heads, says Clinical Psychologist Lecturer Lect. To see. Selin Kalabas, by exploring the reasons for students’ low grades; stressed the importance of assessing the situation.
“AFTER THE CAUSES ARE DETERMINED, AN APPROPRIATE SOLUTION CAN BE TAKEN”
Low grades on the report do not mean that the person is ‘failed’, ‘unsatisfactory’ or ‘useless’. Claiming that he could not complete the course he received due to several factors alone, Clinical Psychologist Teacher. To see. Selin Kalabaş said, “First of all, families should talk about the course in which their children get low grades and find out the reasons for it. Reasons for their children’s low grades; It can be caused by a problem such as being above grade, below grade, not finding it interesting, not feeling like it, lack of motivation, emotional factors or distractions. After these reasons are identified, a solution can be initiated according to the situation,” he said.
“JUSTICE AND CRITICISM MUST BE ABSOLUTELY AVOIDED”
Many parents often resort to punishment methods in the upbringing of children. Kalabaş stated that punishment is not instructive and said, “Punishment is just a control mechanism. The punished child learns nothing about the situation. In addition, it appears that people continue to behave in an undesirable way when the control mechanism is removed. Punishment is also hurtful and damages family relationships.” said. Adding that the appreciation of children’s smallest effort has a positive effect on the child, Kalabaş said: “Children’s smallest efforts should be appreciated and their potential should be trusted. Children must be supervised and functional alternatives must be offered. Judgment and criticism must be absolutely avoided.”
“LET YOUR CHILDREN FEEL YOU APPROACH WITH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE”
Clinical psychologist Selin Kalabaş said that children’s feelings of ‘shame’ and ‘guilt’ should be expressed, saying: “A specialist should be consulted if necessary. Children’s potential must be correctly analyzed and not approached with high expectations. Children should be made to feel loved in all circumstances and care should be taken to maintain a strong relationship with children.
Adding that a study program can be established before the summer holidays after establishing the reasons for the children’s low grades, Kalabas makes the following recommendations:
“Sporting events to train the body; Mindfulness and yoga exercises can be done. It is possible to participate in aid projects. You need to be in contact with nature and tranquility. Most importantly, we must not forget that children are more valuable than numbers. Make your children feel that you approach them with unconditional love.”